:: SPOZ's RANT ::

The Adelaide music scene: to many of you it may be little more than a touring speed bump between Melbourne and Perth but to us it's a way of life. Feast within, on all its dysfunctioning splendour, as we bring you the highly satirical, laughingly fictional and intellectually imbecile tales from our rock & roll wasteland...
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[::..latest blogs..::]
:: THE GRAND RAPIDS,
THE PITS and
THE SUNBIRDS
:: DUSTY LEE'S
WASTED WANDERERS
and THE REMEMBERZ
:: THE TIMBERS
(Video Launch) with
THOM LION & THE TAMERS
and SERENDIPITY
:: HURRICANES
and LONI RAE
:: LAST DAYS OF KALI,
THE DIVINE FLUXUS,
LIFE IN LETTERS and
BABES ARE WOLVES
:: HALL OF FAME ::
:: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES** :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ARTAX MISSION :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND :: BOOSTER :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CIRCLE CLAN :: COERCE :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DOUBLE HANDED* :: EGYPT :: ENCARTA / COLONEL KERNEL** :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA FIRE!*** :: FRIENDS :: GLASS SKIES :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT :: THE HONEY PIES** :: HORROR MY FRIEND* :: ISLE OF VISION :: JUNGLE CITY :: KAMIKAZE :: THE KEEPSAKES* :: THE KILLGIRLS*** :: LADY STRANGELOVE** :: LEADER CHEETAH*:: LIKE LEAVES** :: LUMONICS* :: LYLA :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS*** :: MERE THEORY :: MORALS OF A MINOR* :: THE MOTIVE :: MR WEDNESDAY** :: NO THROUGH ROAD*** :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! :: REALIST FEW :: RIDE INTO THE SUN** :: THE SEA THIEVES* :: THE SHINY BRIGHTS* :: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY** :: SKELETONS :: SOFT WHITE MACHINE* :: STEERING BY STARS* :: SWIMMING :: TEA :: THE TIMBERS :: TONY FONT SHOW** :: TRACER :: THE TRANSATLANTICS** :: TWO SUNS :: TYGER TYGER* :: THE VILLENETTES :: WOLF & CUB** :: ZETA ::
[::..rant awards..::]
:: 2008 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2009 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2010 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2011 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
:: RECOMMENDED ::
[::..global..::]
:: NME
:: SPIN
[::..local..::]
:: DB
[::..blogosphere..::]
[::..miscellaneous..::]
:: XKCD
:: SITE FEATURES ::
[::..video blogs..::]
[::..festival blogs..::]
:: Fringe Festival 2012
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2013
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
[::..b&w episodes..::]
:: A Winter Wonderland
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
:: In Limbo - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
:: B&W July 2012 - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
[::..special features..::]
:: ARTIST INDEX ::
:: !!! :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES (DUET) :: 200 MOTELS :: 4 KINGS LOUD :: 4 VOICE :: 67 SPECIAL :: 78 SAAB :: A RED DAWN :: ABLACKWELL :: ADALITA :: ADAM PAGE :: ADELAIDE'S PIPE GUY :: ADNAAN BARAKY :: ADRIAN BELEW :: ADRIAN DEUTSCH :: AFFAIRS OF MEN :: AFI :: AFTER THE FALL :: AIRBOURNE :: ALARM BIRDS & THE SEA THIEVES :: ALIAS & THE JAMS :: ALITHIA :: ALL FLIGHT CREW ARE DEAD :: ALL MADE OF RUBIES :: ALL NIGHT GIRLS :: ALPEN :: ALPHA BETA FOX :: ALPHABETTE :: ALPINE :: ALUKA :: AMBUSH MARKETING :: THE AMCATS :: AMUNDSENS FLAG :: ANDREW HIGGS & THE SAND CASTLE HARUM :: ANDREW P. STREET :: ANDY ROBERTS :: ANGEL & THE BADMAN :: ANGEL EYES :: ANGELIK :: ANGELS OF GUNG-HO :: ANGIE HART :: ANIMAL SHADOWS :: ANIMAL TRAPS :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ANNY DUFF :: ANTHONY ANT :: ANTHONY WIGNALL :: ANTONY OF THE FUTURE :: ANYA ANASTASIA :: ANYA MCNICOL-WINDRAM :: THE APE :: APHELION :: THE ARCADE FIRE :: ARCHERS :: ARCHIE :: ARCHITECTURE IN HELSINKI :: ARIEL PINK'S HAUNTED GRAFFITI :: ARLO COOK :: ARMOUR FOU :: ARTAX MISSION :: AS THE PENNY DROPS :: THE ASTEROID BELT :: THE ATLANTIC STREET BAND :: ATLASIS & AMICA :: AUBERON DANCE ACADEMY :: AUDIUM :: THE AUDREYS :: AURA FORM :: AURORA :: THE AUTHENTIC REPLICAS :: AUXILLA :: AVANT GARDENERS :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: AWKWARD LOVE TRIANGLE :: BABES ARE WOLVES :: BAD//DREEMS :: BACHELOR OF ARTS :: BACHELORETTE :: BACK$EAT ROMEOS :: THE BAKER SUITE :: THE BAKER'S DIGEST :: BAKEWELL STREET :: BALL PARK MUSIC :: BANG! BANG! AIDS! :: BANJO WEATHERALD :: BARCODE :: THE BARON :: THE BARONS OF TANG :: BASEBALL :: THE BASKERVILLES :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: BAT FOR LASHES :: BATPISS :: BATRIDER :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BATTLEHOUNDS :: BATTLE POPE :: BATTLES :: BEACH HOUSE :: BEANIE MY FRIEND :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND :: THE BEARDS :: THE BEASTIE BOYS :: BED WETTER :: BEDHEAD :: THE BEDROOM PHILOSOPHER & HIS AWKWARDSTRA :: THE BEERBELLY BUSKERS :: BEFORE THE AFTERMATH :: BELITTLE LEAGUE :: THE BELLE CURVE :: BEN ELY'S RADIO 5 :: BEN REVI :: BEN REVI ALL-STAR REVIVAL BAND :: BETTY AIRS :: BIG RICHARD INSECT :: BIG SCARY :: BIG SKY THEORY :: BILLY BISHOP GOES TO WAR :: BILLY BOB'S BBQ JAM BAND :: BING GOES TO MONACO :: BINKY & THE BUNG MICS :: THE BIRD :: BIRD WIZDOM :: BIRTHGLOW :: BIT BY BATS :: BITCH PREFECT :: BITTER SWEET KICKS :: BJORK :: BLACK GOLD :: BLACK LIPS :: BLACKCHORDS :: THE BLACK AND WHITE :: BLACK CORAL :: THE BLACK DOVES :: BLACK KNIGHT :: BLAKE SABAN 3 :: BLEEDING KNEES CLUB :: THESE BLESSED BONES :: THE BLIND HERD :: BLISTERED PALMS :: BLOW UP BETTY :: BLUEJUICE :: BOB DOWNE :: BOB LOG III :: BODY HORROR :: BOHOEFFER :: THE BON SCOTTS :: BOOSTER :: THE BORDERLAND :: BOS :: THE BOTTLEROCKETS :: BOX ELDER :: THE BOX ROCKETS :: THE BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE :: BRENDAWG & THE DROID :: BRIANNA MAHONEY :: BRIARS :: BRILLIG :: BRITISH INDIA :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS (DUO) :: BRONZE CHARIOT :: BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE :: BROKERS :: BROTHERSISTER :: BRUNATEX :: THE BUMBLEBEEZ :: BURAKA SOM SISTEMA :: BURIED FEATHER :: BURLESQUE BEAUTIES :: BURN THE ASHES :: THE BURNING SEA :: BURNING TOWER :: BUSHIDO :: BUSTER FIDEZ :: BYE BYE MOUNTAIN :: THE BYZANTINES :: CAL WILLIAMS JNR :: CALIFORNIA COUSIN ::CALLERDENIGHT :: CALLING ALL CARS :: CAM GOODALL :: CAMEROM MCTERNAN :: CANDIDA :: CANIDAE :: CANIS VULPES :: CAPTAIN CLEANOFF :: CAPTAIN HELLFIRE & THE WRETCHED BRETHREN :: THE CAPTAINS OF INDUSTRY :: CARLA LIPPIS & THE MARTIAL HEARTS :: THE CASIO BROTHERS :: CASKET CASE :: CASS McCOMBS :: CASSETTE KIDS :: CAT DOG BIRD :: CAT PARTY :: CENTAURZ :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CERES :: CESARE :: CHAPMAN STREET :: CHARLIE MONSOON :: CHASING PHOENIX :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CHERRY GRIND :: THE CHEVRON WHORES :: CHILDREN COLLIDE :: CHRIS FINNEN :: CHORAL GRIEF :: CIRCLE CLAN :: CIRCUS ARCADE :: THE CITRADELS :: CITY RIOTS :: CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH :: THE CLIQUE :: CLOUD CONTROL :: CLOUD NOTHINGS :: THE CLOWNS OF DECADENCE ::CLUE TO KALO :: COCK :: COERCE :: COG :: COLLARBONES :: COLLIDE/ESCAPE :: COLLIDER :: COLONEL KERNEL :: COLORBLIND :: COLOURISE :: CONCHILLIA :: CONSOLE WARRIORS :: COOKIE BAKER :: COOKIE BAKER & HER SPECIAL SECRET SPELLS :: COOL JUMPER :: COOL JUMPER & TANTIVY FAIR :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CORTEZ :: COSMO BLACK :: COSMO THUNDERCAT :: COUNTERFEIT TRAITOR :: CRACKWHORE :: THE CRAYON FIELDS :: CREEPERS :: THE CRYING GAME :: CUB SCOUTS :: CURSES :: CUT COPY :: CUT OFF YOUR HANDS :: THE DAIRY BROTHERS :: DAISY BUCHANAN :: DAMN ARMS :: DAMN TERRAN :: DAMNED MEN :: DAMO SUZUKI NETWORK :: DANCE TIL YOU CAN'T SAY YEAH! :: DANGEROUS! :: DANIEL VARRICCHIO :: DANVERS :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DAPPLED CITIES :: THE DARDANELLES :: THE DARK LIGHTS :: DAS UBBERDUNG :: DAVE PHILLIPS :: THE DAYLIGHT BRAVES :: DAYSWORTH FIGHTING :: THE DEAD BELLS :: DEAD END FRIENDS :: DEAD FRENCHMEN :: DEAD JOE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DEADLY ARE THE NAKED :: DEEP SEA ARCADE :: THE DEER JOHNS :: DEERHUNTER :: DEJA ENTENDU :: DELIA OBST :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DESCRIBE ELIZA :: DESERT CROOKS :: A DEVIL AMONGST THE TAILORS :: THE DEVILROCK FOUR :: DEXTER JONES :: DIAMOND SINS :: DIANA SCALZI :: DICK DIVER :: DIE! DIE! DIE! :: DIESEL WITCH :: DIPLOMAT :: DIPSTONE :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: THE DIRTY MONKS :: THE DIVINE FLUXUS :: DIZZEE RASCAL :: DJ KELE OKEREKE :: DJ SHADOW :: DJ SPOZ :: DOE :: DON MORRISON :: DOUBLE DRAGON :: DOUBLE HANDED :: DOZERS :: DRAWN FROM BEES :: THE DREAMBOATS :: DRILLER JET ARMSTRONG :: THE DRONES :: DROPLET :: DRUNK MUMS :: DUD PILLS :: DUKES OF WINDSOR :: DUMB EARTH :: THE DUNES :: DUNGEN :: DUSTY LEE :: DUSTY LEE & THE ANGELS OF GUNG HO :: DUSTY LEE'S WASTED WANDERERS :: DZ :: DZ DEATHRAYS :: EAST END VILLAINS :: ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN :: ECHO & THE EMPRESS :: EDDY CURRENT SUPPRESSION RING :: EGYPT :: ELECTRIC WIDOWS :: THE ELEVENTH HOUR :: THE E.L.F. :: EL-P :: ELEPHANT :: ELLEN KIBBLE :: ELVIS :: EMDEE :: EMILY DAVIS :: EMPERORS :: EMMA HORWOOD :: EMPIRE VAGABOND :: ENCARTA :: ENDLESS NAMELESS :: ENEMY OF :: ENNIS TOLA :: ENVY STREET :: ES IST SUPER :: EVEN :: EXPATRIATE :: THE EXPLODERS :: EXPLODING PLASTIC INEVITABLE :: FAITH NO MORE :: FAIR MAIDEN :: THE FAK :: FAKE LAKE :: FAKE TAN :: THE FAT SACK :: FAT TAILED ANTICHINUS :: FEAR AND LOATHING :: THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS :: FEIST :: FEMME FATALES :: FERGUS O'REGAN :: FEZ FAANANA :: FIGHTERPILOT :: A FILM FOR THE FUTURE :: THE FINISHING SCHOOL :: FIRS :: FISHING WITH HENRY :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA, FIRE! :: FIST PUMP, FIST BUMP :: THE FLOORS :: FLORENCE & THE MACHINE :: THE FOLKO-OH-NOES :: FONT PLAYS FONT :: FORCES :: FOREST OF GNOMES :: FORMER CHILD STARS :: FOX FAEHRMANN :: FOXX ON FIRE :: FRANZ FERDINAND :: FRAUD MILLIONAIRES :: FREESTATE :: FRIENDS :: FROM THE DEAD SEA :: FULL CONTACT SAFARI :: THE FUMES :: FUNKOARS :: GALAPAGOOSE :: GALAXY CAT :: GALLEON :: GAY PARIS :: THE GELS :: GEMINI DOWNS :: GENERATION SWINE :: GEORDIE LITTLE :: GERMEIN SISTERS :: GG ALAN BINDIG :: GHOST WALK :: GHOUL :: GHYTI :: GHYTI & THE PHILANTHROPIC ORCHESTRA :: GINFOX VS HELLO NEWMAN :: GIRL TALK :: THE GIVEAWAYS :: GLASS DUNES :: GLASS SKIES :: GLASS TOWERS :: GLISK :: GNARLS BARKLEY :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT :: GOLD BLOOM :: THE GOOD CHINA :: GOTYE :: GRAFTON PRIMARY :: THE GRAND RAPIDS :: THE GRATES :: GRAVEYARD TRAIN :: THE GREETING METHOD :: GRENADIERS :: GREY DATURAS :: GRIMEY :: GROOVE ARMADA :: GROUND COMPONENTS :: THE GROWL :: GUILLAUME SOLO ACOUSTIC :: GUINEAFOWL :: GÜNTER & THE SAFEWORD :: GYRO :: HAIM :: HAL BIRD :: HALFWAY TO FORTH :: THE HAPPY ENDINGS :: HAPPY SOMETIMES :: HAR MAR SUPERSTAR :: THE HARD ACHES :: HARMLESS HUNTER :: HARMONY :: HARRY FREEMAN :: HAWKS OF ALBA :: HEATH WEBER :: HEKYL :: HELLO, LOVER :: HELLO NEWMAN :: HELMET :: HESTON DROP :: HEY FEVER :: HI, I'M RECLUSIVE AUTHOR THOMAS PYNCHON :: HIGH STAKES :: HIGH TENSION :: HIGHTIME :: HILLS & TRAINS :: HIT THE JACKPOT :: THE HOLD STEADY :: THE HOLIDAYS :: HOLOGRAPHIC CHARIZARD :: HOLOGRAPHIC COLTS :: HOLY FUCK :: THE HOLY SEA :: HOME FOR THE DEF :: THE HONEY PIES :: HORROR MY FRIEND :: HOSPITAL THE MUSICAL :: HOWL AT THE MOON :: HOWLING BELLS :: HUMBLE BEE :: HUNGRY KIDS OF HUNGARY :: THE HUSHES :: HUXLEY :: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT WEEZER :: I HEART HIROSHIMA :: HURRICANE JANE :: HURRICANES :: I, A MAN :: ICE ON MERCURY :: ID :: IGGY POP & THE STOOGES :: ILLICIT EVE :: IMOGEN BRAVE :: IMPARTIAL :: THE IMPOSSIBLE QUICHE :: THE INCHES :: INSTITUT POLAIRE :: INTERCOOLER :: INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF MOJO :: INTERPOL :: INTERZONE EXPRESS :: INTROVERT :: INUETTE :: INWOODS :: IRAAN SANADZADEH :: IRIDIUM :: IRIE KNIGHTS :: THE IRRESPONSIBLES :: ISLE OF CAPRI :: ISLE OF VISION :: IT'S A HOAX :: IT'S WARSAW :: IVORY :: J-LO BIAFRA :: J-WAH :: JACK LONDON :: JACKSON FIREBIRD :: JANE'S ADDICTION :: JAPANDROIDS :: JAPANTHER :: JARVIS :: JARVIS COCKER :: JASON SIMON (DEAD MEADOW) :: JAY WALKER AND THE PEDESTRIANS :: JAYNE-ANNE POWER :: JEFF MARTIN & TEREPAI RICHMOND :: JESS PORTER :: JESUS CHRIST POSSE :: THE JEZABELS :: JIKA :: JIMMY & THE MIRRORS :: JIMMY EAT WORLD :: JIMMY MARIN :: JOE MCKEE :: JOEL STERN :: JOEL STERN, CURED PINK & TIMOTHY TATE :: THE JOHN STEEL SINGERS :: JON ADDAMS :: JON MARCO :: JON MORTIMER :: JONNY BLIZZARD :: JOSH CALLIGEROS :: JOURNEY WELL SPACE WIZARD :: JUDGE MENTAL :: JUMP! YOU REVOLUTIONARY :: JUNGLE CITY :: JUPITER LEAD :: KAMIKAZE :: KAMIKAZE TRIO :: KANGAROO SKULL :: KARL MELVIN :: KASABIAN :: KASAVETT :: KATE VIGO & THE UNDERGROUND ORCHESTRA :: THE KEEPSAKES :: KELLIE LLOYD :: KELSHY :: THE KEMP BROTHERS :: KID SAM :: KIDS IN CULTS :: KIDS WITH TEETH :: KIKUYU :: THE KILL DEVIL HILLS :: KILLER BIRDS :: THE.KILL.BOT.FACTORY :: THE KILLGIRLS :: KING DADDY :: KING KRILL :: KING KRULE :: KING OF THE NORTH :: KINGSTON DOWNES :: KINGSWOOD :: KINS :: KIRK SPECIAL :: KIRK WATT :: KITCHEN WITCH :: KITTEN KONG :: KITTYHAWK :: KORAL :: KRIS WANDERS :: KRISTINA MILTIADOU :: KURT VILE :: KYRI :: KYTES OF OMAR :: LA FEMME LE FEVER :: LADY GUNG-HO & THE ANGELS OF STRANGELOVE :: LADY STRANGELOVE :: LADYHAWKE :: LAHARA :: LANCE LAZER & TALIBAND :: LAST DAYS OF KALI :: LAST DINOSAURS :: LATE NIGHT MATINEE :: LATER THAT NIGHT :: LAURA HILL :: LAURA IMBRUGLIA :: LAZARO'S DOG :: LC3'S :: LEADER CHEETAH :: LEGENDS OF MOTORSPORT :: LEIGHSTARDUST :: THE LEITMOTIF :: LEITMOTIV LIMBO :: LE GATEAU CHOCOLAT :: LEMURIAN :: LENIN MCCARTHY :: LEAPING FELIX :: LES SAVY FAV :: THE LEVITATORS :: LIFE IN LETTERS :: LIGHTS :: LIL VALENTINE :: LIKE KITES :: LIKE LEAVES :: LILY MOJITO :: LILLYS RADIO :: LINE HONOURS :: LIPSMACK :: LITTLE BRIDGET :: LITTLE ICE AGE :: LITTLE TWO EYES :: THE LIZARDS :: LO! :: LOADED LEOPARD :: LOEMAX :: THE LONDON ROAD POETS :: THE LONELINESS OF A MIDDLE DISTANCE RUNNER :: LONELY FIRE :: LONG WALK HOME :: LONI RAE :: LOON LAKE :: LORDE ::THE LOST SHOW :: LOST VALENTINOS :: LOUISE ADAMS :: LOUISE & THE TORNADOS :: LOUISE ADAMS & THE FRINGE DWELLERS :: LOVE CREAM :: LOVE OF DIAGRAMS :: LOVE STEREO :: LOVE ZOMBIES :: THE LUCKSMITHS :: LUKE ASHBY BAND :: LUKE DUX :: LUKE ESCOMBE :: LUKE EYGENRAAM :: LUMONICS :: LYLA :: MACH PELICAN :: MAD SHAPES :: MADCLASSIC :: THE MAGIC BONES :: THE MAGNETS :: MAKING :: MAMMAL :: MAMMOTH :: MAMMOTH LOGIC :: MANI NEUMEIER & THE BITCHES OF ZEUS :: MARCUS COROWA :: MANOR :: MARCUS WARNECKE & SAM PORTER :: MARDEN :: MARGARET LLOYD & SEB TONKIN :: MARK CURTIS :: MARLA SINGER :: MARY TREMBLES :: MARY WEBB :: MASSIVE :: MASTER'S CURIOUS DELIRIUM :: MATHEMATIC :: MATHIEU WERCHOWSKI :: MATT BANHAM :: MATTHEW BARLOW :: MATTHEW MILES ::MAX SAVAGE :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS :: MAYDAY FAIR :: MAYFIELD :: MCKISKO :: MEANWELL COLLEGE :: THE MEDICS :: MEGAFAUNA :: MENAGERIE :: MERCY ARMS :: MERE THEORY :: THE MESS HALL :: MESSRS :: MEZZANINE :: MICHAEL STOWERS :: MICK ARMSTRONG, ANDY ARMSTRONG & STAN BASTIRAS :: THE MIDDLE EAST :: MIDNIGHT JUGGERNAUTS :: THE MILTON EXPERIENCE :: MIKE MCKEON :: MIKE RADZEVICIUS :: MIKEY (EX ARTAX MISSION) :: MINDSHOWER :: MIRRORLINE :: THE MISCHIEF :: MISCHIEF THE CAT :: MISS GOLLY GOSH :: MISS RENEE SIMONE :: THE MISSION IN MOTION :: MM9 :: THE MOLTING VULTURES :: MOMOKO SODA :: MONA LISA OVERDRIVE :: MONDO PHASE BAND :: MONEY FOR ROPE :: MONKEY PUZZLE TREE :: THE MONSTER SOCIETY OF EVIL :: MOONFAKER :: MORALS OF A MINOR :: THE MORNING AFTER GIRLS :: THE MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS :: MOTHERSLUG :: THE MOTIVE :: MOTOWN CONNECTION :: MOUNTAIN STATIC :: MOUNTAIN STRANGER :: MOUNTAINS IN THE SKY :: MOUNTBATTEN :: MOURGOS GRUND :: THE MOURNING SONS :: MOVE TO STRIKE :: MOVIN' MELVIN BROWN :: MR ROSEWATER :: MR WEDNESDAY :: MUM'S TENNIS FRIENDS :: MUMFORD & SONS :: MUNCHKIN :: MUSCLE CAR VS HIGH STAKES :: MUSTERED COURAGE :: MUTEMATH :: MY DISCO :: MY SISTER THE COP :: MYLES MAYO :: N.A.S.A. :: NAOMI KEYTE :: NAOMI KEYTE & TANNON KEW :: NATHAN KAYE :: NAZZ AND THE RED PONIES :: NEON BOGART :: NEON ELECTRIC :: NEREEDA :: NERVOUS GERBAL :: THE NEW CABAL :: NEW PANTS :: NEW POLLUTANTS :: NEW TRANSLATION :: THE NEW VAGUE :: NEW WHITE SNEAKERS :: NEW YORK DOLLS :: NEWTONHEATH :: NICKER TEENS :: NIGEL KOOP & STEVIE BEE :: NIKKO :: NITIDUS :: NO BIRDS :: NO THROUGH ROAD :: NO ZU :: NOBODY KNEW THEY WERE ROBOTS :: THE NOVOCAINES :: THE NYMPHS :: THE OCEAN PARTY :: OCEANICS :: ODYSSEY :: THE OFFCUTS :: OH MERCY :: OH MINOR :: OH MY GUARD! :: OISIMA :: OKKERVIL RIVER :: OLD MATE :: OLIVERS ARMY :: OLLY HOLMES :: ONE THOUSAND COUPLES :: ONION :: ONNIE ART :: THE ORBWEAVERS :: OSH10 OWLS OF THE SWAMP :: PABLO LIBIDO & THE WHITE ROBOTS :: PALEFACE :: THE PANDA BAND :: PANOPTIQUE ELECTRICAL :: PAPA VS PRETTY :: PAPER ARMS :: THE PAPER SCISSORS :: PARADES :: PARTY :: PATRIARCHAL DEATH MACHINE :: PATRICK SARACINO :: PEACHES & HERM :: PEABODY :: PENELOPE SUICIDE :: PENNY IKINGER :: PERSIA & THE GEORGE GRIFSAS QUARTET :: THE PET SHOP BOYS :: THE PHARAOHS :: PHILADELPHIA GRAND JURY :: THE PHOBIAS :: PHOENIX :: PIMPIN' HORUS :: PINK NOISE GENERATOR :: PINKY BEECROFT & THE WHITE RUSSIANS :: PISTOL SHRIMP :: THE PITS :: PIVOT :: THE PIXIES :: PLACEBO :: THE PLEASURE OF BOOKS :: PLUG IN CITY :: PNAU :: POCKET ACE :: POETIKOOL JUSTICE :: POLY & THE STATICS :: POND :: PONY DANCE :: POPY JANE :: POPEYE & OLIVE OYL :: POST DEATH POST :: THE PRESETS :: PRINCE RAMA :: PRINCESS ONE POINT FIVE :: THE PRODIGY :: THE PSYCHONAUTS :: PUNK JAZZ MONORAIL :: PUT DOWNS :: QUA :: QUANTUM CHAOS :: QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE :: QUEST :: QUESTION QUESTION :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! :: RACHEL CEARNS :: RACHEL CEARNS & THE VALKYRIES :: RADIANT CITY :: RADIO SPECTACULAR!!! :: RADIO STAR :: RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE :: RAINDROP ::RAPID TRANSPORT :: THE RAPTURE :: RAUCOUSTRA :: THE RAVEONETTES :: THE READYMADES :: REALIST FEW :: REALM :: RED APPARITION :: RED COATS :: RED INK :: THE RED PAINTINGS :: THE RED SUN BAND :: REGULAR JOHN :: REGURGITATOR :: RELYING ON LUCK :: REJUSA :: THE REMEMBERZ :: RENDEZVOUS WITH RAMA :: REPTILES :: RICHARD IN YOUR MIND :: RICOCHET PETE :: RIDE INTO THE SUN :: RIN & THE RECKLESS :: RINCON :: RINGO STALIN :: RIOT RUNNERS :: RISEMANN :: RITES WILD :: ROBOTOSAURUS :: ROCKET SCIENCE :: THE ROCKETEERS :: ROGER THAT :: THE ROOFTOPS :: ROOK :: RORY O'CONNOR :: ROSS DE CHENE HURRICANES :: ROTE MARE :: THE RUBENS :: RULE OF THIRDS :: THE RULES :: RUN THE JEWELS :: RUNNING WITH HORSES :: RUNZELSTIRM & GURGLESTOCK :: RUSSIA :: RUSSIAN TEAMMATE :: RYAN MEEKING & THE FEW :: RYAN OLIVER :: SAILMAKER :: SAILORS AND SWINE :: SAINT HUCK :: THE SALVADORS :: SAM WOOLFORD :: SAN CISCO :: SARAH BLASKO :: SARAH CHADWICK :: SATAN'S CHEERLEADERS :: SATIN HAREM :: SAUL WILLIAMS :: SAVAGES :: SAVING SAVANAH :: THE SCARE :: THE SCARLET IVES :: SCHOOL OF RADIANT LIVING :: SCREAMING GIBBON :: THE SEA THIEVES :: SEA URCHIN & ALLIES :: SEABELLIES :: SEAMUS ANTHONY :: SEAN DESMOND :: SECRETS IN SCALE :: SERENDIPITY :: THE SERRA :: SEVENTEEN FIFTY SEVEN :: SEX ON TOAST :: SEX WIZARD :: SEX UNCLE :: SEXUAL DAD :: THE SHADOW LEAGUE :: SHADOWQUEEN :: THE SHAKE UP :: SHAMAN SON :: SHAME SPIRAL :: THE SHAOLIN AFRONAUTS :: SHAPES DIVIDE :: SHARK IN THE DARK :: SHE SAID YOU :: SHE'S THE BAND :: SHILOH :: THE SHINE :: THE SHINY BRIGHTS :: SHOJI HANO :: SIANNA LEE :: SIDEWALKS :: S.I.G.I.T. :: THE SILENTS :: SIMON & JENNY :: SIMON ABERLE :: SIN CITY :: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY :: SIR GERBIL :: SISTER ROSE :: SKELETONS :: SKIPPING GIRL VINEGAR :: SKYBOMBERS :: SKYE HARBOUR :: SLAMAGOTCHI :: SLAVE GIRLS FROM BEYOND INFINITY :: SLEEP PARADE :: SLEEPTALKER :: THE SLEEPY JACKSON :: SLINGSHOT DRAGSTER :: SLY HATS :: SMALL AFFAIRS :: SMASHING PUMPKINS :: SMILE ::SNAKADAKTAL :: SNAP TO ZERO :: THE SNOWDROPPERS :: SNOWMAN :: ...SO YEAH :: SOFT WHITE MACHINE :: SOJOURN :: SOMMNIUM :: SONIC DEATH MONKEY :: SOURSOP :: SOUTH FROM SOMEWHERE :: SOUTHPOOR :: SPANK ROCK :: SPARKSPITTER :: SPARTAK :: SPECIAL PATROL :: SPILT CITIES :: SPINDICKLE :: SPINE :: THE SPIRES :: SQUEAKER :: ST. MORRIS SINNERS :: STANDARD UNION :: STARS :: STARS YOUNG :: THE STEADY ONS :: STEEL TIGER :: STEERING BY STARS :: STEREOLAB :: STEVE SMYTH :: THE STIFFYS :: STONEFIELD :: STOP SAYING HELICOPTER :: THE STORM WILL COVER OUR TRACKS :: STRAIGHT TO VIDEO :: STREETLIGHT :: STREGA :: SUBAUDIBLE HUMM :: SUBURBAN STANDOFF ::SUGAR ARMY :: SUMI :: SUMMER FLAKE :: THE SUN AND THE SKY :: THE SUNBIRDS :: THE SUNDANCE KIDS :: SUNK LOTO :: SUNSETTLER :: SUPER XX MAN :: SUPERBEE :: SUPERCAINE :: SUPERCAINE DUO :: SUPERPHATASS :: SURES :: SURVIVING SHARKS :: SUZI STAPLETON :: SWAYBACK :: SWEEPER :: THE SWEET DECLINE :: SWIMMING :: SWIMSUIT :: THE SWISS :: SWORDS :: SXWZD :: SYDONIA :: THE SYSTEMADDICTS :: SYSTEM OF A DOWN :: TABULA RASA :: TALL TALL TREES :: TALVIN SINGH :: TAME IMPALA :: TANTALUM :: THE TANUKI SUIT :: TAUGHT BY ANIMALS :: TEA :: THE TEDDY ROYALS :: TEENAGERSINTOKYO :: TELEPROMPTER :: TEMPER TRAP :: TEMPORAL LOBE :: THE TEMPS :: TERRA FIRMA :: THEM PLASMS :: THEM SWOOPS :: THESE WILD ANIMALS :: THE THIEVES :: THIS CITY SUNRISE :: THE TIM MCMILLAN BAND :: THE TIMBERS :: TINY CONSPIRACY :: TINY SPIDERS :: THEE OH SEES :: THOM LION & THE TAMERS ::THOMAS CAPOGRECO :: THUNDERCLAW :: TIGER CHOIR :: TIGER ET GHOST :: TKAY & BADCOP :: TKAY MAIDZA :: TODD SIBBIN & THE ACADIAN DRIFTWOOD :: TODD SIBBINS & THE OPPOSITE ENDS :: TOKYO CITY SEX SHOOTERS :: DJ TOM LOUD :: TOM CAPOGRECO & DUNCAN CAMPBELL :: TOM SMITH :: TOM WEST & TODD SIBBIN :: TOM THUM :: TOM UGLY :: TOMORROW IS :: TONY FONT SHOW :: TOOL :: THE TORRENS :: TOTALLY UNICORN :: THE TOUCH :: TOXIC SHOCK :: TRACER :: THE TRAFALGARS :: THE TRANSATLANTICS :: TRANSPORT :: TRASH CITY :: TRAVELLER & FORTUNE :: TREETOPS :: TRENT WORLEY :: TRICIA CATFORD :: THE TRIPPING LILIES :: TRIXIE PLAIN :: TRUCE :: TRUCE & THE COLONEL :: TRUTH CORRODED :: TUMBLEWEED :: TUSCADERO :: THE TWOKS :: TWO SUNS :: TWO WAY RADIO :: TYGER TYGER :: TZU :: UK SPECIAL :: UNCLE CHUNK :: UNCUT WHITE NOISE :: UNKLE :: UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA :: UNPAID DEPT :: UNSPOKEN THINGS :: URTEKK :: VALENTIINE :: VALIANT JONES :: VALKYRIES :: THE VAMPIRE PROJECT :: VAN CLEEF :: VAN SHE :: VANILLA ICE :: VANITY ERA :: VARLIIBA :: THE VASCO ERA :: THE VENICE WHALERS :: VENTOLIN :: VERONA LIGHTS :: THE VILLENETTES :: THE VILLENETTES (DUO) :: THE VINES :: THE VIOLET CRAMS :: VIRTUE :: VNB :: VOLUME = COLOUR :: VOWEL MOVEMENT :: VOXANGELICA :: WALTER MARSH :: WARPAINT :: THE WARRING SIGHS :: THE WARSAW FLOWERS :: THE WARSAW PACT :: WASHINGTON :: THE WATERSLIDES :: WE ALL WANT TO :: WE AS ART, WE AS ARTISTS :: WE GROW UP :: WEED CAPITAL :: THE WEEVILS :: WHERE WERE YOU AT LUNCH :: THE WHISKEY GO GO'S :: THE WHISPERERS :: WHITE RHINO :: THE WHITE STRIPES :: WILD OATS :: THE WILD THINGS :: WILEY RED FOX :: THE WILLIAM STREET STRIKERS :: WILLIE MCRAE BAND :: WINTER'S LAMENT :: WINTERCOATS :: WINTERMILD :: WIREHEADS :: THE WITCH :: WITCH HATS :: WOE :: WOLF & CUB :: WOLFMOTHER :: WOMEN MOVING FURNITURE :: THE WOOHOO REVUE :: WYLDE THROE :: THE X O EXES :: XANGO :: XL VISION :: THE XX :: YANKEE MACHINE :: YEASAYER :: YOUNG AND RESTLESS :: YOUNG HEARTS FAIL :: YOUNG OFFENDERS :: YOUNG RIVER & THE VULTURES OF VIRTUE :: YOUTH & WONDER :: YOUR MOTIVE FOR :: YUSUKE AKAI :: YVES KLEIN BLUE :: ZEAL :: ZETA :: ZOE BEHAN ::

:: Thursday, June 16, 2011

LIVE REVIEW / THE TOUCH (****)
"WAREHOUSE PARTY" @ TUXEDO CAT / Sunday June 12th 2011

As much as I STILL do derive considerable enjoyment out of this Adelaide scene, and I'm ever so happy to be part of it and I wouldn't give it up for the world (but by all means Melbourne make me an offer! WHAT? I got nothing left here but beer and broken dreams... and I'm all out of beeeer!), it's not nearly as much "fun" as it used to be; at least not in the writing of it. I mean we can all see it can't we? "reading between those lines": all that cynicism, that sarcasm, the weight of every word wrapped up in such snide hilarity!? HA HA HA THAT AIN'T NO JOKE YO!! And suuure I could continue to "shine it on" in a crass celebration of the trivial, fuck maaan... why ELSE do I drink!? but it's long stopped being a "shiny new adventure" for me, the excitement is long gone, and I've been writing this same schtick for what... seven? SEVEN YEARS!! a lot of it every week, day in day out, forsaking what was once my "personal life" to deliver it? (but if it helps I'm not entirely too sure I even HAD one to begin with outside of this insanity, nor would I want one now... weeeeee!) no really, what's left to be said? "I love this shit, it's a love that robs me blind, and in the end it'll surely kill me!?" NOBODY WANTS TO READ THAT!! (again); and yet I'm still here writing all this shit, why!? pfft... why else duuude, IT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS!! Yup as much as I'll happily continue to enjoy this scene, document it in photos and share it all with my "fuckup friends" (kindred spirits maaan... I'd be lost without them!) it's gonna take me much more than the same old "suicidal scene routine" ending at Supermild to write blogs about it. No I need a story, I need an angle, I need something ANYTHING to inspire me so I don't simply blow my brains out over just how utterly senseless and relentless this live scene can be! Or failing that? fuck it... I'll just invent one ham over fist (hold the baloney) AND OOOOH SHIT DO I HAVE ONE FOR YOU TONIGHT!! two in fact! One's this "venue" I've picked tonight. And as for the other, ie: the elephant in the room who'll be headlining it!? (or feel free to replace said "elephant" with an animal slighty more apt) yeaaah I'll get to them soon enough. But first the venue... Tuxedo Cat. It's the first time I've ever been and maaan was it a bitch to find!



Or maybe it was piss easy to find if you knew what you're "looking for", as much as it doesn't really announce its presence till you've practically tripped over it... but yup here it is! bring rubber gloves, a syringe, a surgical saw and some garbage bags and it'd be just about perfect for a "first date"! except no waaiiit, you mean to tell me it's INSIDE the building!? (yeaaah I think I peed in one of those corners once anyways) *cough* anyhoo... if ever you're looking for it? it's 131 King William Street (I think?) between Waymouth and Franklin Street, opposite Town Hall. And as much as I AM a "first time caller" here tonight? I HAVE known about this venue for the looongest time, perhaps even as far back as early 2008 when it originally ran as a "rooftop bar" at 15-19 Synagogue Place off Rundle Street. And yes I am kicking myself retarded over the fact I never caught any shows there too (it usually operated during Fringe Festival's yearly "shitstorm" though... so perhaps that's understandable) but even more so since it changed places to our current location and I missed out on that spastically shit awesome Format show here a few weeks back: featuring God God Damnit Damnit, Strawberry Fist Cake, Pink Flamingos (and no really who the fuck are half of these bands!? WHO THE FUCK CARES IT WOULD'VE BEEN INSANE!!) and headlined by Jet Boys: a punk band from JAPAN!? except nooo, I picked pissy 'ol Bronze Chariot and their (admittedly badass) album launch at Jade Monkey didn't I!? FUUUCK I so have the worst "journalistic" skills on the planet! but NOT TONIGHT!! Nope tonight I'm making up for all these past "wrongs" by... well potentially, by ADDING more wrongness to it (again I'll get to THEM soon enough) here at this teeny tiny sandwich board; or more accurately a little bit past that... up some stairs and through a doorway to the right. Again not the most OBVIOUS live venue in Adelaide but perhaps that's all part of its charm... hmmm?



And after almost tripping over a bouncer hidden by the door (no really what IS this place? run by ninjas? vampires? vampire ninjas? HA HA HA FUCK DUUUDE IMAGINE IF IT WAS!? WOOOO!!) I then find myself HERE standing in the hallway, where I'm almost immediately reminded of another near clandestine venue of times past: Urtext. Maybe you remember that shit on Grenfell waaay back in 2007-2008? how you gained access via an intercom? all those makeshift parties? all that crazyarse homegrown obscure-as-fuck arty farty batcrap insanity!? aaaah good times! (or if you didn't? or if it was waaay before your "time"? simply follow all the links above) and it definitely shares a similar vibe with all that crumbling early 20th century (art deco?) architecture: yet another of Adelaide's many near derelict (I suspect heritage listed) bombsites of a bygone era long since abandoned by society at large. Which makes it possibly kinda "romantic" that it's a live venue now; or at least until you wonder if it's NOT JUST the plaster that's crumbling up there above you, but possibly the entire ceiling/roof itself and we're just one teeny tiny Adelaide "earth tremor" away from a fullblown collapse (SHIT YEAAAH... JUST MY KINDA PLACE TO PARTY!!) but let's face it I've visited shitdives far more "ghetto" than this, so it's hardly a passing concern. Oh and should I also mention there's perhaps two or three smaller rooms leading off to the left and the right of here that have been converted into "mini theatres" for the Adelaide Cabaret Festival? (waaait, has that shit started up again already!? how time flies!) except naaah none of that is really of any concern to us now...



Because the real "action" (at least as far as tonight is concerned) is being hosted HERE in the main room that follows. Again the similarities to Urtext are altogether uncanny... although, despite what these photos might lead you to believe? short of that impressively high ceiling it boasts, it's not nearly as expansive as you might expect (especially for what was billed as a "Warehouse Party"). But hey it still beats another night spent at The Ed Castle... as much as it's also filling up with that special kind of "tragically fashionista" none to dissimilar to what you'd often find AT The Ed Castle (or possibly even more tragically so? frequenting Transmission, Sputnik, Electric Circus or Sugar) only if it's at all possible? even MORE tragically "designer label"; but I spose that's to be expected considering who's headlining... SHIT YEAAAH!! (and again we'll get back to them later... and I bet you can't wait for that shit too! WOOOO!!). And so to suit, the DJs are pumping a plethora of indie disco/whatever-the-crap's considered "edgy" right now (ie: whoever's ripping off MGMT of late?) which is doing WONDERS for the crowd looking artfully disinterested while comparing handbags and shoes at the bar sipping gin & tonics, and otherwise giving me the stink-eye wondering why the hell I'm HERE taking photos (aaaah it's like they know me ALL TOO WELL!!). And as much as I'd love to laugh that up for all its worth? It's Sunday night, I'm dead sober and I'm waaay too dead broke to do anything about that... so yeaaah until the bands start, maybe it's best if I keep moving?



But seriously, how awesome IS that ceiling!? duuude I can't get enough of that shit!



And so I next step out into what they've called the "Courtyard Bar". Although that's possibly ONLY accurate according to the sort of wildly exaggerative "real estate" mentality that likes to call what I saw inside a "Warehouse Party": as it simply consists of one catering caravan serving up drinks (that's since closed for the night), a teeny tiny fire grill belting out more smoke than actual heat, surrounded by plastic stools and propped up on loose planks of wood, that wobble precariously like a waterbed whenever you walk on it... but credit where credit is due? this IS a makeshift venue so it's somewhat to be expected (renovated by Renew Adelaide no less!) and I'm rather enjoying the piss hilarity of it. But what amuses me most here are the portaloos... because obviously I've got the mental "maturity" of a five year old and thus I really felt it important that I document them...



And it was then... as I was sizing up a more suitably "epic angle" in which to encompass all that "portaloo brilliance" (ie: by stepping out into the gravel backlot further back) that I was hit with an all too eerie feeling of "deja vu", only to then explode into riotous fits of laughter when I finally put two and two together and realised "HOOOLY SHIT I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE!!". I mean yes granted I might be mistaken: as it was pitch black pissing with rain at the time in October when we originally (and allegedly?) "crossed paths", and maybe I had to duck under a wire fence covered in mud to get here... all the while wondering if the cops would return, with attack dogs to chase us away, and *ahem* yeaaah perhaps I've said too much!? Suffice to say here's a photo I took last year that might have been this venue in question BEFORE it became this venue, here's the story it inspired AND WOWEEE AM I TRIPPING BALLS FIERCE JUST NOW REMEMBERING IT ALL... HA HA HA FUUUCK!! So much so in fact? I was literally flailing arms about shrieking hysterically over this mad epiphany, only for someone huddled by that fire grill to angrily glare at me and say "you don't have to shout you know, we can hear you from here!" and yeaaah *ahem* perhaps it's best I go back inside?



And so after awkwardly excusing myself from THAT "social faux-pas" (wow tough audience!) I then return to the "Warehouse" inside to more properly assess the stage arrangement... because yes I really AM that boring when I'm sober. And on the plus side, yes it appears to be an actual "stage": with an actual curtain backdrop (and quite the luxurious velvet it IS too!), with two upright house speakers somewhat comparable to that of a Jade Monkey live PA (with similar goofy acoustics). There's a mixing desk partially hidden off to the left (stage right) propped up on milk crates, while the DJ booth is propped up on top of (what I'm assuming is) some heavy duty scaffolding behind the stage so it peaks ever so slightly above the curtain. Bit eccentric maybe, but I'm down with it.



On the flipside however it's a really shallow stage, barely deep enough to fit a drumkit, so much so the rest of band kinda has to setup on the floor in front between/behind two pillars to fit. More awesome still? there's absolutely no stage lighting (oh yeaaah I'M SO GONNA LOVE THAT SHIT!!). Or perhaps that's not entirely true as there IS "lighting" kinda pointing towards the stage of some description, dimly illuminating the action off to the right... but for the most part all those lights, in registers screamingly red (ie: perfect for fucking up a camera's image sensor) are trained squarely on the walls and ceiling above us to give the illusion of size and grandeur (well yes, they've kinda got me there) whilst simultaneously ignoring what I assumed, besides the bar selling cheap drinks tonight, was meant to be the "main attraction". But hey I DO rather relish an "impossible mission" when I see one, it's why I signed up for this shit in the first place (amongst other reasons ripe for ridicule). And before you ask? yes I DID consider using the flash instead: perhaps even a slow synchro "arty fart" flash effect to let what little of the ambient lighting there was; except it looked like complete and utter balls when I tried it and yeaaah... let's just say you SO don't wanna know how much Photoshop I'll be abusing to pull this one off, OOOOH YEAAAH IT'S GONNA BE BRUTAL!!



TEA (****1/2) - Which FINALLY brings us to the first of two acts I'm here to see tonight, or at least the ONE I was legitimately "here to see"; as opposed to the second, the headliners who are purely providing the "comic relief" I can shamelessly exploit for this writeup... but again, more on them later (nooo really... I swear!). The same opening act, who by a funny coincidence were also (allegedly) set to play here back in October for that infamous show I dare not mention (or at least moments before ##### and then the ##### and a whole LOT of ##### ##### happened? aaaah and if only I was there with a camera too!) which means in many ways they rather "suit" this venue perfectly (and no that's not meant AS an insult, but it still works as a compliment if I do!). Yup this is Tea. Quite possibly the shittiest, shonkiest, most ill-begotten ragtag bunch of fuckwits ever to form a garage band (at least since Diesel Witch) that next to none of you have ever heard of before... YET IN THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY!! and thus... the more "ramshackle" the live venue conditions you throw them in? yup the better they'll invariably sound; awesome huh!? HA HA HA YOU BETCHA!! As such: as much as there may've been next to no stage lighting tonight? let alone enough room ON a stage, with most of the band within "fist swinging distance" of the audience; if only most of that same "audience" weren't hiding out in the back at the room, at the bar, cradling their G&Ts staring at the ceiling and otherwise contemplating just how much they should bid for those "super cute" suede ankle boots they saw on eBay that are SO "on trend" people will swear you've got an on again/off again "friends with benefits" with a gender ambiguous extraterrestrial catwalk model from the future who gives you mad runway offcuts and they'll simply die of jealousy? (I know, and to think people have REAL problems!? pfft!). Or more specifically: as much as one of their microphones may've been misfiring so horrendously (only for their room acoustics to stifle anything else they yelled off mic as well) a mouse sneezing through a hankerchief would get more attention here? yup it only makes them perform all the better! Yup between "barely" keeping their shit together and a few shades short of complete fucking disaster: watch as Dave Blumberg on the left tears into his guitar like he's speed plucking an oversized unruly chicken (or perhaps it's vice-versa?) while Ray Dalfsen on the right stoops, lurches and swings about erratically on the microphone further and farther afield with a mad "hiss and spit" blues register equal parts James Brown, a jar of crunchy peanut butter possessed by Satan, and a bag of cats fighting (and it's truly mesmerising shit too!), while new and rather "no-nonsense" bassist Jake Rollins (at least I THINK that's his name!?) reigns in the rhythm section with Ben Kuerschner on drums like a pro only to all but disappears into the proverbial lighting "blackspot" on stage so I can't photograph him (or more accurately that part of the stage that's even BLACKer than the rest). Delivering the loosest set I've ever seen them play, and yet in doing so proving once again to be just the "happy accidents" that could pull this shit off like a masterstroke? Yup that's Tea. Like all the best bits of The Ramones, The Clash, The Saints, Wavves, Black Lips to Brian Jonestown Massacre beaten black and blue with pipe wrenches then shouted drinks and drunk riotously under the table? Yup even sober, surly and ever so slightly sick of it on a Sunday they made attending this show tonight ever so worthwhile!












And for extra bonus points in the end? they even got their unruly rent-a-crowd to pick fights with them in the final song. It was a trivial occurrence maybe, crass publicity stunt at worse, but as the support act playing to a proverbial "brick wall" here tonight... a tactic no less retardingly welcome!




Which speaking of retarded (sorry, couldn't help it!) at long last brings us to the one band almost everyone is here to see (some rubbing their hands with glee and laughing demonically more than others *ahem*). A band worthy of a story... naaay an epic saga! or at the very least a dodgy half hour sitcom on Channel Nine even more insulting to your intelligence than "Two And A Half Men"; or yeaaah perhaps we shouldn't tempt fate with that one? because at least for the likes of Spoz's Rant here? this moment has been a long time coming... A LONG TIME COMING!! OOOOH CRAP, IT'S THE TOUCH!! Proverbial indie disco dickheads extraordinaire of the Adelaide scene; emphasis on the actual? The one band you LOVE TO HATE? (and occassionally, admittedly under your breath, "hate to love" for just how "brilliant" they are at being hilariously stupid?). The one band some of us had all but blissfully forgotten still "existed"... thanks to the fact the last time I ever covered them live on this blog was waaay back in October 2009 when they headlined Coopers Alive at Jive!? And no... it wasn't a terribly atrocious gig if that's what you're thinking; in fact I might even have (begrudgingly?) enjoyed some of the newer songs they played that relied LESS on lead singer Josh Moore appropriating 2 Live Crew's "Hoochie Mama" and using it as the lyrical genius to inspire all their songs and more on his fellow band members actually being able to play their instruments. Sounds crazy I know, but they were almost starting to head in a half respectable direction (ie: they were now ripping off shit slightly less idiotic than Art Vs Science) and so satisfied in what I saw? I vowed to never ever see their shit live, let alone review them EVER AGAIN; or at least for as long as it amused me. Not because of any actual bad blood between us, or for any bona-fide "non bullshit" personal reasons, but more because? aaaah fuck 'em... it'd be freaking hilarious, THAT'S WHY!!



But being as this is Adelaide: the city of "two degrees separation" (and worse: when you consider I have a rather retarding habit of frequenting The Ed Castle on a Saturday night far too many times than is ever recommended for one's own mental health) it would be all but inevitable that I would cross paths with members of this band, especially their lead singer Josh Moore... because yup clearly the universe has it in for me (or yeaaah, maybe I go to The Ed Castle waaay too fucking often and I'm an idiot!) and so I figured instead of this being a bad thing per se? why don't I just make a running gag of it. Which considering the subject matter at hand? wasn't all that difficult.



More so in fact... even if I didn't bump into them in any given night? I started making it a recurring joke to reference this band, AS OFTEN AS ENTIRELY UNNECESSARY, in the most subtly stupid and occassionaly bleedingly obvious ways, as pretty much THE go-to "dictionary definition" punchline for everything "indie disco retarded" in the Adelaide scene (especially after Jupiter Lead broke up and I couldn't milk THAT for all its worth) and woweee did they appreciate all that "free publicity" too!



Just as it would always fill me with such simple joy to catch their DJ sets: again at The Ed Castle on a Saturday night (again always really REALLY happy to see me whenever I did so too!). And hey why wouldn't I wanna frequent the head exploding fuck out of this shit!? The Touch DJs maaan! Those mad rat bastards who infamously spun "The Baywatch" theme that one time. First as a joke: and we all pissed ourselves laughing and slowly shook our heads in dismay. Then secondly: and we all were aghast they'd even think to repeat it. And then they just kept on spinning it and all the other DJs caught wind of it, until it wasn't even "wink-wink" ironic anymore and it won nothing but cheers of genuine, shrieking, spastic adoration and packed out dancefloors? and OOOOH FUCK!!



Yup it's disturbing to think that out of all the DJs who've graced the decks at The Ed Castle, on a Saturday night, for Plus One (and hey, we've all been there haven't we? GOOD TIMES!!) it's almost always been THESE blithering idiots who've been most popular and attracted the biggest crowds...



Except when... yeaaah *cough* let's just forget we ever saw this then?



Yup this moment tonight has been A LONG TIME COMING: well over eighteen months and however many days by my reckoning... or... ummm... at least I THINK it's been that long? as to be honest I'd lost count and almost forgotten to keep making fun of this band... OOOPS!! (especially after I discovered a band like Beirut Bathouse existed and started making THEM the butt of all my jokes instead... squeeeeee!). But heeere we are at last! them on stage (or more accurately half falling off of it wondering where to fit all the synths) me standing up front with my camera, flipping them off with both middle fingers raised, laughing maniacally (or come to think of it I pretty much treat MOST bands in Adelaide with the same "common courtesy"). No seriously, after all this time... ALL THIS FUCKING TIME!? after playing at the Big Day Out, Parklife, One Movement Festival, winning Nova's "I'm With Band" in 2010, touring the UK and playing The Great Escape? now returning to play Tuxedo Cat tonight: one of the most awesome "derelict" eclectic and eccentric live venues in Adelaide (that me taking the piss out of in hosting an indie disco party tonight clearly ain't doing justice) and they're headlining no less! with what will surely be a live set brimming with all these new songs I've never even heard of before, or dared imagined? with all these bold new directions, bold new sounds? C'mon you're dying to know now aren't you!? pleading at the top of your lungs: "NO TELL US SPOZ!! FERFUCKSAKE PUT US OUT OF OUR MISERY ALREADY YOU OBNOXIOUS PISS TWAT!! HOW WAS IT!? HOW WAS IT TO WITNESS THE TOUCH AGAIN AFTER ALL. THESE. YEARS!?". I mean not to put too a fine point on it, but did they blow a fucking goat or what!? huh? HUH!?



Aaaah fuck I dunno... four stars?
















HA HA HA yeaaah, who didn't see THAT one coming!? best "live review" writeup, EVER!!

Previously on Spoz's Rant: Red Apparition (Single Launch)

:: Spoz 2:48 PM |
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