The Adelaide scene: to many of you it may be little more than a touring speed bump between Melbourne and Perth but to us it's a way of life. Feast within, on all its dysfunctional splendour, as we bring you the highly satirical, laughingly fictional and intellectually imbecile tales from our rock & roll wasteland...
PREVIOUSLY (NOT) ON SPOZ'S RANT... AKA: THE LOST BLOGS / Thursday December 23rd 2010 - Saturday January 29th 2011
Wow, so who saw THIS coming: me writing blogs again in 2011? pretty much everyone? even your mum? and I seriously wasn't fooling anyone? even when I wrote "to be continued...?" in that last live blog, posted everything short of my freaking epitaph at the end of that "best of awards" and then proceeded to post all those idiotic black & white photos of me eating noodles for four weeks straight hoping you'd finally take a hint!? and you STILL didn't believe me!? and you still kept coming back for more!? SHIT DAMNIT, I THOUGHT I HAD YOUUU FOOLED!! (in fact I almost fooled myself) no really I swear I wasn't gonna do this crap again! ME writing all these stupidarse blogs for another year!? AAAAHAHAhAhAhAHaHA GET FUCKED!! And yeah yeah I know I've said this every year like a wind up cuckoo clock: that I had enough, that I was gonna quit the blog, the Adelaide scene, quit giving a damn, sell my soul to the nine to five and you'd never hear from me again "yeaaah right Spoz... tell us another one! WE DON'T BELIEVE YOU! YOU FREAKING LOVE THIS SHIT AND YOU KNOW IT!!" but it took some serious soul searching to convince me to go through this again. And by "serious soul searching" I obviously mean the past few weeks laughing my arse off at everyone's expense posting dumbarse black and white photos of what appeared to be none too subliminal advertisements for Indomie Mi Goreng (and for the record: that whole egg thing? so not worth the trouble) thinly disguised as a "day in the life" of somebody clearly suffering a fullblown nervous breakdown. And yet as much as I DID have my doubts over just how I was gonna write up another year of what was essentially a 60 hour a week obsession for no pay? (especially now I'm broke and thanks to my ever increasing internet infamy: all but unemployable by civilised society) I never actually stopped "covering" the Adelaide scene, HA HA HA duuude... I NEVER EVEN LEFT!! Which is why for the sake of all of you mad fools who were but oblivious to it? (what? you didn't get all my twitter updates!? sheeesh!) I now bring you THIS: all six weeks, thirty live bands and ten "lost installments" of what you otherwise missed (whilst watching me consume near toxic levels of MSG, backing up my ipod and dicking about on facebook all day) condensed into one "teeny tiny" recap episode. Which quite like all the craziest stories left untold? starts with me stealing a hat...
THURSDAY DECEMBER 23RD 2010 Or perhaps I'm getting way ahead of myself... as it actually starts with this steak dinner I had two weeks prior (but don't worry I'll get back to the story about the "hat" in due course... AND AREN'T YOU JUST DYING TO HEAR ABOUT IT TOO!!). And as for what made this particular "steak dinner" so ridiculously important, nay damn near spasmagorically life affirming; especially as it pertains to the Adelaide music scene and why I'm still here covering it!? pfft... what are you nuts? it's just a steak dinner you freaking idiots! STOP READING SO MUCH INTO EVERYTHING!! (but SHIT DAMN was it stupidly awesome all the same!). I mean just look at that mushroom sauce! look at that mouth watering cut of meat ever so lightly seasoned with cracked pepper (or maybe it's mice droppings?) or those golden brown potato chips? or that lush side serve of salad ever so alien to my garbage physique yet no less bursting in head exploding vitamin goodness! (and is that fancy pants purple lettuce!? SHIT YEAAAH BABY!!). Duuude tell me that ain't a meal worthy of a Viking saga! Tell me I haven't died and gone to reasonably priced counter meal heaven; or at the very least one of the slightly more aesthetically pleasing pub food purgatories... or maaaybe I'll just shut up already?
The point is after all the insanity I'd put myself through in 2010, after all the stupidly long hours spent in service to this blog: beating my brains concave into the keyboard screaming obscenities, constantly wracked with writer's block (and all of it clearly unrelated to just how many times I tried making "going to Supermild" sound wildly exciting everytime I went there). For all the insomnia and caffeine overdosing delerium reviewing countless Adelaide bands again and again well beyond the definition of a mental illness? here I am now two days away from Christmas Day... and where do I choose to put my feet up? put it all behind me for another year and enjoy the fuck out of said "steak dinner"!? with my extended family? with my nearest and dearest loved ones? FUCK NO!! I choose to spend it here at The Light in the lead up to another lineup of live bands... WOOHOOO!! I mean isn't that shit inspiring!? isn't that just a shining example for us all!? Well actually it's kinda depressing more than anything else... but hell it IS the "season to be melancholy", and let's face it: if you ain't a kid wide eyed with Christmas glee or an adult with kids living that crap vicariously? Christmas is kinda balls. So short of offering a cheap (read: STUPIDLY AWESOME) excuse to avoid all that, or the fact that The Scarlet Ives were sporting a (relatively) new lineup, or the fact this was The Battery Kids last show in Adelaide before moving to Melbourne (egads!), or THIS hilarious poster art promoting it? (and how can you go wrong with Jackson Firebird and Ride Into The Sun? YOU CAN'T that's what!) yeaaah you probably didn't miss all that much in not being here tonight...
Unless of course your name happened to be "Amanda Selleck": in which case you clearly missed out on THE shit awesome show of the century; or perhaps just this decade, or perhaps this year, or maybe just THIS Thursday two days prior to Christmas... or shit duuude for all we know? this girl might have been challenging you to a fist fight; in which case we clearly ALL missed out (and I for one am kicking myself retarded over that fact). And as for whether I was ever gonna get to the "point" here? aaaah who the fuck knows! I mean do these blogs ever make sense? like... EVER!?
Still at the very least I did duck out momentarily to catch a new band at The Ed Castle. "wait, why the FUCK were you at The Ed Castle!?". I'm glad you asked! Just as I'll happily avoid answering that question (I mean pfft, c'mon... everyone knows I freaking live here 24/7) only to introduce this shit in following. Yup this is Curses. They're an Adelaide supergroup of sorts: as much as the term "Adelaide supergroup" is a laughable oxymoron to anyone OUTSIDE of the Adelaide scene (just as it's been clearly overused and abused on this blog to the point it no longer has any inherit value or meaning to anyone IN the scene). Suffice to say that yes that IS Aidan Moyse and Sarah Masters from Hawks Of Alba on lead vocals/guitar and bass, Rory O'Connor from Steering By Stars on guitar and Ryan Manolakis from Like Leaves on drums. Which I think is reason enough for ANY trainspotting "scene geek" to foam the fuck out in mad anticipation of what they'd have to offer on a live stage; even if it was just all four of them playing spoons and duck whistles (aaaah and could you imagine if they did!?). Except to be honest, even after seeing them here tonight? I really don't know what to make of it yet... save for the fact they sound kinda "90's inspired" in an angry post grunge buzzing guitar attack kinda way, which is kinda like the music blogging equivalent of me saying "it tastes like chicken". So yeaaah fuck it, just watch the live video and you tell me. WHAT!? It's two days before Christmas and I'm on freaking holidays here, write your OWN DAMN REVIEW!!
FRIDAY DECEMBER 31st 2010 So *cough* about that stolen hat then? well fast forward a week and a day and it's New Years Eve and is that Anthony Candlish from Ride Into The Sun wearing said "hat" and whooping it up like 2010 has no tomorrow!? YOU BETCHA!! (no shit... they should totally make greating cards out of awesome moments like these!). Still all whizzbang celebrations aside? I freaking hate New Years Eve. Well maybe "hate" is too strong a word, but it is potentially the worst night you'll ever spend drunk in the entire calendar year; especially compared to the fifty other weeks of the year you'll spend pissing it large in the Adelaide scene having the absolute time of your life (AND DON'T YOU JUST KNOW IT!!). For the simple fact that every other arse sniffing arseclown/baboon/bogan/bozo who's otherwise spent the rest of the year safely sequestered in their homes bumping chests to luke warm tinnies of West End and televised team sports have now chosen this ONE "auspicious occassion" to pack out every one of your chosen pubs, clubs and live venues to the ceiling (most if not all now sporting ridiculously long lineups and hiked cover charges to boot). So now you can't move for all the swinging fists and unintelligible screaming, it takes hours to order a drink at the bar, nobody gets the "countdown" right, you're never sharing it with that special someone (or soon to be) when the clock strikes midnight *sigh*, and it's all over and done with by 1AM. "1AM!? GET FUUUCKED!!". But that's only if you're stupid enough to spend it in the Adelaide CBD. Nope for the past few years I've wisened up to this mad catastrophe in the making and simply hit a house party instead; and I totally recommend you do the same. Scam an invite by any means (or simply host your own). Bring a carton, maybe two (or better yet stash a third somewhere safe when shit runs dry around 4AM), bang some tunes, whoop it up retarded.. stupifying awesomeness guarenteed!
Tonight's shitcrazy suburban shindig was clearly no exception; which obviously means short of any incriminating evidence I may have "accidently" captured on camera (and not subsequently deleted in abject horror smashing it into a wall screaming) I have no freaking clue what the fuck actually happened... SHIT YEAAAH!! Only a lot of binge drinking was involved (obviously), a few too many people found themselves on the roof watching the sun come up, only for Anthony to throw up all over it, which I was only told about in graphic detail afterwards as I actually thought walking all the way from Thebarton to Supermild on Hindley Street at 5AM was the best way to score a taxi home (to be fair, it did take only 20 seconds to do so when I arrived). And as for what any of this has got to do with Jules pulling a "Crystal Castles" on camera here? yeaaah your guess is as good as mine... and why is she wearing a toga too? HA HA HA WHO THE FUCK CARES!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Oh and yes I also stole this bitchin' hat. Long story short...? it was originally Anthony's hat, I pitched the idea to him (drunk) that I'd "steal it" off him on the condition that if I didn't return it at the next Ride Into The Sun gig I attended, I'd totally give the subsequent live review a "five star rating". At which point? yup he simply hands it over like it's a done deal (little did he realise that the next Ride Into The Sun gig I would likely be attending? would more than likely fall during blog hiatus in January and thus wouldn't be reviewed... BWAAAHAhAhAHAhahAHA YOU FOOL!!). But no really how awesome is it!? No shit if there was only ONE reason why I'm still writing this dumbarse blog in 2011, you're looking at it. Bitchin' hats duuude.. they totally make shit more stupidly epic!
SUNDAY JANUARY 2ND 2011 Suitably inspired by what some of you might consider "stupidly superficial means" (ie: in ways that only acquiring men's millinery under dubious drunk circumstances could possibly ever provide) I leapt into 2011 like a mad hat wearing bastard with nothing to lose... except perhaps his hat and the last few functional percentiles of his liver; especially if Anthony ever thought to reclaim it; his hat not my liver... and wait where the fuck was I again!? Oh yeaaah Sunday! For those of you of a slightly more sensible persuasion? (but clearly not nearly "sensible" enough to avoid the New Year's hangover) going out on a night like this, so soon after New Years, to catch four live bands cranking guitars at skull raping volumes at The Ed Castle, might seem like the stupidest idea ever in the history of stupid ideas that don't otherwise start with "cinematic reboot of Buffy The Vampire Slayer" and ends with "without any of Joss Whedon's involvement" (no seriously, first you reboot Spiderman and now this!? WHAT THE FUCK HOLLYWOOD? WHAT... THE... FUUUCK!?) but possibly not if you're a mad hat wearing bastard like me. Especially not if you're a mad hat wearing bastard who somehow escaped a heavy night's binge drinking on New Years Eve WITHOUT a hangover to show for it (can't quite say the same for Anthony though.. yeeeouch!). Better yet if a hundred odd fellow freaks of supernatural liver persuasion have chosen to join you and you're here to bask in the psychedelic shitstorm that could only be unleashed by both Two Suns and Lady Strangelove in support of legendary San Diego act Earthless (and by "legendary" I clearly mean I'd never heard of them before but peeps keep telling me they're "shit hot" so I'll simply take their word for it). Of course much could be said of the stupifying brilliance of both Two Suns and Lady Strangelove tonight, for reasons I seriously couldn't be arsed documenting at the time (I'm on hiatus bitch!) but you probably already KNEW that from reading this blog for the past few years. So instead I'll simply direct your attention to Bronze Chariot: they were the third band on the bill tonight, this is only the second time I've seen them in almost twelve months, which is clearly two times not nearly enough and if nothing else in 2011? I hope to cover waaay more of their shit. They're stupidly angry, sound rather like Tom Waits covered by a dirge band put through a cement mixer with the distortion pedals cranked (to the sight of singer Ben Cooper slow swaying circles like a punch drunk boxer on stage) I mean what more could you ask for? a horn section!? DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!!
And as for headlining act Earthless? I believe all nineteen minutes and fifty one seconds of this live video pretty much speaks for itself: gas up the "Gandalf" in advance... you'll thank me later.
FRIDAY JANUARY 7TH 2011 After spending a good portion of my Monday to Friday in following doing shit-fuck-all productive besides photographing dead birds, roadside trash, shopping for Mi Goreng (no shit you can totally score a box of forty at Kim Wangs in Central Markets for $11.50... bargain!) watching Breaking Bad and consuming vast quantities of processed garbage (with added mushrooms!) for a retardarse "hiatus blog" I was later shocked to discover that over 1200 people had actually "read" that week (HA HA HA THAT'S AWESOME!!) I clearly needed a change of scenery. And by "change of scenery" I clearly mean the inherant irony that only a night watching four live bands at the Jade Monkey could possibly provide (but hey at the very least it's not The Ed Castle again right? riiight? wait... where'd everyone go?) and what a night of pants popping excitement it was too! Which as you can clearly see peaked early with opening act The Honey Pies (performing as an acoustic duo) and rapidly slid downhill from there, or maybe it was more of a gradual slide, or maybe it only just got a whole lot better, duuude who's to know? I AIN'T REVIEWING SHIT!! Suffice to say if you weren't here? not only did you miss out on The Honey Pies acoustic duo (complete with Tony Marshall's ridiculous lambchop sideburns, which he totally shaved off soon after) you also missed Quiet In The Lab!, ...So Yeah and Nigel Koop's "Big Band": featuring who the fuck knows what from various other Adelaide acts (but I DID recognise at least one greasy haired goon from Ringo Stalin) which probably means about as much to YOU as it does to my "swiss cheese" recollection attempting to come up with any more meaningful insight. But screw it, when you're a mad hat wearing bastard like me, such trivialities matter not. In fact I don't even know why I'm mentioning any of it now...
Save for giving me a lazy lead-in excuse to brag about this stupidly awesome photo in following. Yup this is Paul "Nazz" Nassari, lead singer for ...So Yeah. For those of you already well familiar with his work in King Daddy? he obviously needs no introduction: he's a living legend of the Adelaide scene in more ways than just mad binge drinking prowess and freakish unkillability. Or for those of you otherwise oblivious? this spastic stink insect with an endoskeleton made entirely out of silly putty is nothing short of a gift to rock photography that keeps on giving, duuude he pulls more mad shapes on stage than an origami guidebook! Simply point a camera in front of him, start shooting and watch as this mad bastard bounces off the walls and ceiling? never a dull moment! Which for someone more accustomed to shooting cardigan clad shut-ins who do little more than hide under their hair, count their encyclopedic collection of effects pedals and flail about under a laughable lack of stage lighting approximating "atmosphere" looking uncomfortable (yeaaah not like a few thousand examples don't immediately spring to mind) comes as nothing short of a breathe of fresh air. No shit it's for mad freaks like THIS that I continue to be inspired!
And just to prove I'm not simply waxing lyrical over nothing here (although I see can how you'd think that from 99% of the superlative gibberish I usually write) get a mad dose of THIS. Yup not only does this freak appear to not have an "off switch", if ever his pee was synthesised into a fuel source and fed into a mobility scooter? it'd likely achieve mach 10 moments before exploding, taking most of a city block with it. Or yeaaah maybe that IS me waxing lyrical. ...So Yeah? fuck it, go see their shit sometime. I'm told they totally have a "facebook fansite" now and everything!
SATURDAY JANUARY 8TH 2011 And speaking of photos I clearly have no rights to brag about because I use nothing but a crappy "point and shoot" to take them with (whilst simultaneously proving that I really DO suck at holidays away from the Adelaide scene if THIS is how I choose to spend my free time... IDIOT!!) here's a stupidly badass photo I took of Tom Kennedy from The Sweet Decline playing a gig at The Grace Emily on Saturday night. And as much as I could go on to elaborate that they were supported by The London Road Poets (and maybe even provide a whimsical live review of them), that they were showcasing a few new songs (which may be appearing on a soon to be released second EP) and you should totally check their shit out sometime if your idea of a "good time" is hearing Liam Gallagher being beaten to death with lead pipes by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club in a wind tunnel (aaaah and I never tire of describing them like that too!) but short of me writing all that anyways? I seriously couldn't be arsed. Did I mention I was on holiday already? maaan I need to get a life!
So instead... and obviously just to provide myself with yet another lame excuse to frequent The Ed Castle more times than is deemed entirely appropriate for a live music blog on the ENTIRE Adelaide scene (well shit duuude, with the stage lighting as skull fuckingly awesome as THIS who would want to be anywhere else but here all the damn time!? oh waaait... for every other reason I could think of) I figured I'd divert your attention to THIS band instead. Tiger Choir. They're from Tasmania, I'd already reviewed them once before when they last toured in May 2010, so you're probably better off reading what I wrote THEN (hmmm does anyone else get the feeling this whole writeup has become increasingly redundant the more we delve into it?) except the live photos I got TONIGHT are so much more ridiculously badass than anything I might've gotten at The Exeter. In short as "indie electronica" goes they rather don't suck (some of you may even burst a left nipple over it) especially if you dig Gerling's earlier material mixed in with a little bit of Animal Collective (as much as they might cringe at the comparison) and word is they're totally releasing an album soon and that song I got on video "Vultures" might just be on it. YEAAAS... BE MILDLY ENTHUSED!!
FRIDAY JANUARY 14TH 2011 Now skipping past just what the hell it is that I did between last weekend and THIS (and yet still felt weirdly compelled to post a retarded blog about anyways), or the fact that this is fast becoming a definitive diagnosis for obssessive compulsive disorder thinly disguised as a "January live scene retrospective" (shit no wonder I'm still single!), lemme just point out something about this show tonight: if you weren't here, I'm not even kidding you, you no longer have the right to read this blog. YOU ARE DEAD TO ME!! YOU HEAR ME!? DEAAAD!! Or maybe you had a legitimate excuse...? no wait there IS no legitimate excuse! I don't care if you're interstate, overseas, orbiting the Earth in the International Space Station pulling bucket bongs with Russian cosmonauts (and peeps still wonder how those air filters get clogged?), shit I don't even care if you're recently deceased and buried at sea! Someone should've sent diving teams to dig up that grave to unearth that coffin, carried it to Jive, propped it up against a wall and flipped the lid open so (or your gurgling remains covered in crustaceans) could experience the full 5.1 surround of this shit blowing your fucking mind into an entirely different transcendent dimension where such pissy concepts as time, space, life and death and you not being able to convince your girlfriend to come along because she was washing her hair that night simply don't matter. The fact is if you weren't here, and believe me a good three hundred or more of you WERE (to the point you sold out Jive to capacity) words can't even begin to describe it. YOU JUST HAD TO BE HERE. And not just because bands like Steering By Stars and Lady Strangelove were both opening as pissy little support acts... SUPPORT ACTS!? DUUUDE WHAT KIND OF FUCK OFF RIDICULOUS COSMIC CONVERGENCE ARE WE WITNESSING HERE!? IS THIS THE RAPTURE!? IS THAT YOU JEBUS!? WAAAUUGGHH!! But because they were both in support of Like Leaves launching an album. After eighteen long months waiting for them to get their shit together, it FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENED. And we all wish we brought a spare pair of pants and a snorkel (and I kinda wish I wrote an actual live review blog hiatus be damned!) it was that mind blowingly a-grade apocalyptically spastic... in ways that Jive dimming their stage lighting to the luminosity of a lit fart (so I couldn't get any ridiculously epic live photos befitting the occassion) clearly doesn't do it justice. So in conclusion I'm simply gonna swear a lot just to nail the point home... FUCK FUCK FUCKING UTTERLY UNINTELLIGIBLE HEAD EXPLODING SHIT BALLS FUUUCK!!
But still if you are actually willing to admit in public that yes you did miss THE album launch of the century, the decade, 2011, or hell just the month of January... as I dunno if you've noticed but for a good part of 2010 all I ever did was attend launch parties after launch parties losing my fucking mind posting nothing but "five star reviews" (and with each one more stupidly grandiose than the one that preceded it WHO KNOWS just how ridiculous it'll get in 2011!?) all hope is not lost! we can still work things out you and I! They've released an album into the world. You can totally buy it in shops! I think, I dunno... maybe? (I haven't actually looked into that yet) but at the very least I WILL (I hope) be posting a review some time in the next few weeks. But until then? here's a little taste of what you could've experienced first hand: watch, weep, wail with gnashing teeth screaming "WHY DAMNIT WHY!?" or at the very least simply enjoy the fantastic crap out of it... I know I did!
SATURDAY JANUARY 15TH 2011 Now there is nothing funny I could say about the Queensland floods, the floods in New South Wales, the floods in Victoria: all the devastation, the damage, the heartache we heard about this week... I mean shit duuude I could sure as hell try, but I'd just feel like a prize jackass for even thinking it! (duuude I dare not even go there!). Nope in moments like these, all I can do is ask: how can I help? how can I do MORE than just stand around like an idiot, bug-eyed and yammering and actually contribute!? Well thankfully THIS Saturday night such an opportunity presented itself. Organised in little over 24 hours and bringing together the combined talents of ...So Yeah, Ride Into The Sun, Colonel Kernel and The Shiny Brights for one flood relief fundraiser show at Jive (with all the bands, barstaff and security donating their services for free) we raised over $8000, we packed the place out to the capacity, we gave ourselves a teeny tiny ray of hope to focus upon that maybe, just maybe we could actually help in a truly fucked up situation. HA HA HA I know, crazy riiight!? And granted in the grand scheme of things where it'll take billions upon billions and many months (maybe even years) to rebuild infrastructure and rebuild lives it may not seem like much? but it still beat the crap out of doing nothing. Which is why, despite all the golden opportunities this photo of Wolfgang from The Shiny Brights may present in pisstaking hilarity (or better yet what Dan Beacom from Jay Walker & The Pedestrians may present in a glazed expression to the right of him) I'll be the better man and simply congratulate everyone for coming together in a time of need. For showing us that sometimes, just sometimes the Adelaide scene can actually aspire to be a force for "good" and not just an excuse for gratuitous binge drinking (or at the very least a legitimate excuse to do both at the same time) YEAAAS!! WE DRUNKS CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!
Which is why in effort to "lighten the mood" (in ways that I actually have to point out that I'm NOT being sarcastic because shit's really that grim for a great many of you in the eastern states still trying to come to terms with the devastation) we now bring you Josh Moore: "lead singer" for The Touch, doing whatever-the-fuck it is he's doing here in The Ed Castle beergardens; and is THAT a Hitler moustache he's sporting!? HA HA HA no really Josh, THANK YOU!! I mean if we can laugh at something as ridiculously tasteless as this? we can pretty much laugh at anything now can't we!?
They were then followed by Radio Spectacular!!! who promptly emptied the band room: although in saying that I assure you it was because everyone was looking to fired up at the bar and when suitably "buzzed" return to dance up a storm in "riotous celebration" of the a-grade nerdgasmic brilliance that IS Radio Spectacular!!! Only they miscalculated just how many drinks that would actually "require" (anywhere between say 3 and 30?) soon forgot just why they were there in the first place (I dunno.. jugs of sangria for $10!?) only to dance up a storm in "riotous celebration" to whoever happened to be DJing at the time. Or in other words, it's The Ed Castle, no really what else were you expecting? A FREAKING MIRACLE!? which speaking of "miracles" is pretty much what happened when that same crowd flooded back into the band room the minute Friends arrived...
As much as me mentioning ANY "mass migrations" to and from the band room are relative terms at best: as being The Ed Castle, the majority didn't even know there WAS a band room. And hey with The Shaolin Afronauts here doing whatever-the-fuck it is they're doing: "aaaah fuck I dunno? spinning the occassional frisbee? pressing a few buttons? wiggling a crossfader!?" WHO FREAKING CARES!! THEY'RE TOTALLY WEARING BITCHARSE VELVET HOODIES... I think we can all agree that's what's most important here. Well that and the fact Rip It Up are doing their bit in promoting the Adelaide scene. What? why you looking at me like that!? AT LEAST THEY'RE MAKING AN EFFORT!!
SATURDAY JANUARY 22ND 2011 Sooo... take one wild guess what I did with my Saturday night, aye? aaaye!? aaaah who the fuck am I kidding? we all know I'm well beyond retarded for this shit. Hi my name is Spoz Spozington and I have a problem... OH FUUUCK DO I EVER!! I'm told it's the first step right? that at least I'm admitting it! Now if only I could stop accepting all these freaking facebook event invites that keep exacerbating said "problem" I could actually start enjoying this holiday? (and do what with it.. post more nonsensical blogs about noodles!? AAAAHAHaHAhahAhAhAhAHA!!). And what is it THIS time: "No One Wants To Play With Us #2" at The Metro? Featuring duo performances from James Mellor & Jimmy Bean, Jon Marco & Tony Marshall, Paddy Montgomery & Mark Curtis, Jordan & Anna Beinke, Nigel Koop & Stevie Bee and Anthony Golding & Carly Whittaker... fuuuck that sounds exhausting just writing up the playbill! Screw elaborating upon this one, look at the photos if you seriously give half a rat's arse. I can't believe I spent every week for the past five years doing this crap! I mean what the hell duuude? what the fuuuck! WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING WITH MY LIFE!?
Just as all THAT insanity still wasn't the biggest "red spike" registered on the "weird shit-o-metre" tonight. Not when me, Jeremy and Andrew from 20th Century Graduates stumbled upon random "Spiderman" hours later outside of Supermild. Hmmm yup, I might be completely out of my mind and fast circling the drain to dementia, but at least I can seamlessly match my surroundings now.
FRIDAY JANUARY 28TH 2011 By this weekend? yeaaah I'd pretty much given up; I mean I just couldn't be arsed! And yet I still could've made something of it, I could've gone to Jive tonight, I could've seen the legendary Bob Log III. I could've seen "Boob Scotch" maaan! I could've seen him sailing through the crowd in that inflatable raft, I could've seen it all! (or fuck it I could've just stayed home? AAAAHAHahAhahA yeaaah right!) as much as I'd arguably seen it all four years ago, but c'mon he totally has back up dancers now! BACK UP DANCERS!! HOW MAD WOULD THAT SHIT BE!? FUCK YEAAAH!! But instead? yup here I am at The Ed Castle simply phoning it in, like I'm dead to the world from the neck up, blowing bubbles out of my eyesockets! or maybe I was exactly where I wanted to be!? For how else could we possibly explain the head exploding brilliance that is THIS: Dougie "Destructor" Arnott of Quiet In The Lab! captured ever so insanely on a camera lens? I mean doesn't it just make your nipples go ping and your corneas opaque? does it make life just that little more sweeter and your sinuses unclog? doesn't it make the left side of your face go all weirdly numb and tingly moments before you black out unconscious only to come to covered in bird crap halfway up a telephone poll? NOOOO!? yeaaah me neither. But still what a fucking photo! THIS alone was totally worth the price of admission... it didn't matter if I didn't PAY a "price of admission" (I mean since when do I ever? I'm Adelaide's most notorious doorcharge dodging cheapskate!) it didn't matter who the bands were, because it wasn't like I was gonna review them... I'm still on holidays damnit! (I just have a really lousy way of showing it!). Nope to put it bluntly it's photos like THESE, like that stupidly epic one of Paul "Nazz" Nassari from three weeks prior, that give me every reason to dive headfirst into the Adelaide scene with a camera in hand. Or pretty much the ONLY REAL REASON I keep doing it (short of all the colourful characters, the gratuitous binge drinking, my ever growing Adelaide scene "infamy" and ridiculously cute female bartenders *ahem*). Oh and the fact I get to endlessly ridicule Dougie with it for weeks and months on end. No really... why did I EVER want to quit this!?
Whoaaa shit, now I'm just creeping myself out here... eeeeee!
Just like if you weren't here for it? yup you totally would've missed out on the slapstick hilarity that was me handing my camera over to house mixer Alex Ciaravolo, only to dive under the persian rug on stage for this photo (the same the drumkit usually rests on). And yes in my defense, I WAS rather drunk at the time (and just a teeny bit stoned) I held my breathe all the while lest I caught hepatitis, the plague, or just copped a mouthful of dust bunnies, broken glass, asbestos and dried up beer residue... but otherwise I totally recommend you try it at least once. It's quite relaxing!
Oh and the less said about Josh Moore from The Touch DJing here to an empty dancefloor hours later at Supermild? the better! (yeaaah... it's probably best we just laugh ourselves silly instead).
SATURDAY JANUARY 29TH 2011 Which brings us to the final Saturday night of my ridiculously long "teeny tiny" episode recap, a gig at The Metro and a band called Russian Teammate. Now to many of you, the name "Russian Teammate" might not mean all that much. But for a few short years between 2003 and 2005 until they ultimately broke up? duuude they were freaking huge! Or at the very least "huge in the Adelaide scene back in the mid 00's" which is kind of a polite way of saying nobody knew who the fuck they were outside of a dedicated 10-20 strong "rent-a-crowd" following of friends, frenemies, girlfriends, fellow musicians (who had nothing better to do that night) and the occassional freelance graphic designer/idiot blogger who suddenly thought himself a shit hot "rock photographer" (simply because he bought a digital camera recently and kinda knew how some of the buttons worked). Still despite all that? their reputation spread far and wide, they scored supports for Idlewild, The Sleepy Jackson, Blueline Medic, Gelbison, Gersey, Screamfeeder and Bluebottle Kiss, released a stupidly awesome EP "Songs About Leaving" (one which still holds pride of place on my ipod... or at least whenever I remember it's actually on there) and for all concerned they totally rocked the shit out of shit; or for that one time when guitarist Grant Frampton thought it'd be hilarious? totally thrashed the fuck out of a guitar with a violin bow. Yup and now after five years in absentia they've reformed at The Metro for ONE NIGHT ONLY. This is them here. This is that same freelance graphic designer/idiot blogger who still thinks himself a shit hot "rock photographer" (but only because he knows how a few MORE buttons work) posting fartarse photos and videos on the same blog as before. And this is you reading about it now, wondering just how bands like THIS never made it huge, as in legitimately huge, only to remember it's Adelaide and that's what passes for a "sense of humour" around here. Russian Teammate!? SHIT DAMN THEY COULD WRITE A TUNE!! And as for the rest of the bands playing here tonight? well headliners We All Want To you pretty much heard all about last night at The Ed Castle (and they didn't disappoint in encore appearance either!) and as for opening act Sincerely, Grizzly? well considering Josh Calligeros offered me a free beer on condition I delete their live video... yeaaah let's pretend it was waaay too stupidly awesome for youtube and leave it at that (just as I'm sure you'd totally believe me when I say that shit too!).
And now for no good reason other than I couldn't think of anywhere else to put this shit? here's a random selection of pissweasels: without which all my nights out drunk for the past four to six weeks wouldn't nearly be the same... and by "the same" I mean not nearly as stupifyingly drunk.
Yup it's kinda fucked up isn't it? maybe even a tragedy if it wasn't such a "divine comedy" (all nine circles of it in fact) like the very best and worst in a love/hate dysfunctional relationship... me and the Adelaide scene, a dialogue rich in sarcasm, acted out each week with an extended cast of spastic caricatures, borderline criminals, drunks, degenerates, fellow space travellers, sirens and a multitude of muses, an endless well of inspiration simultaneously cursing me with insomnia. And when I dare escape from it like I did for four weeks "blog hiatus" just now? I'm an A-Z of mental illness manifest in every black & white photo, in every emptied noodle packet, in every unspoken word cold turkey, in every instance publishing the unravelling of what little is left of my "swiss cheese" sanity (well hey, everyone needs a hobby!). Or in other words more bleedingly obvious? I clearly suck at taking holidays! NO SHIT!! especially when I'm always choosing THIS as my freaking destination! And wouldn't you? IT'S FREAKING AWESOME HERE!! Yup welcome back to Spoz's Rant! Welcome back for another year! I may be at wit's end, I may have to treat each week like it's my last, but for all the rich rewards? for all the stories and all the mad characters I'll surely uncover? I'll gladly take that rollercoaster! because if all else fails me? fuck it... at least I've got this hat!
